Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
