Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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