oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
