so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
