I'm drive I can fine osifer
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
