You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
