Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
