I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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