i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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