I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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