When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
