apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
babies were throwing up all over the place
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
