remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
