You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
