i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
