The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
