tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
