Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
