I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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