Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
