new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
babies were throwing up all over the place
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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