Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
