I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize