But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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