is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
