white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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