Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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