It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
as a side note pls kill me
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
