i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
