guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
