im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
