Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
