i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
