So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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