I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
