i need an iv and a liver transplant
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
