Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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