if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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