Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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