thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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