Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
