i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
