Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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