So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
