Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
