I feel like abortions should bother me more
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
