let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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