come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
