I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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