Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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